I have just completed a ten-month leadership fellowship with Acumen Academy. The UK Fellowship is “a reflective programme that brings together a cohort of extraordinary individuals with an entrepreneurial mindset and a commitment to solving problems of poverty across the UK. [The fellowship] equips them with the tools and community to strengthen their leadership, scale their impact, and create meaningful change.”
I wanted to honour this journey, but I struggled to find the right way to do it. I’m taking away so much that summarising it for a single LinkedIn post felt impossible. I kept asking myself: What is the one thing I’m taking away? What truly changed me? I wanted to capture my experience and emotions. This blog explores five ways of being yourself and is the result of those reflections.
This “tip” for social entrepreneurs and changemakers is simple: be yourself. It’s also how I want to honour my time with Acumen. It may sound cliché, but it’s also the most profound and challenging leadership lesson I can share.
So, what does it really mean to be myself?
Here are my top five insights on being yourself, and at the same time, five reasons to apply for the Acumen UK Fellowship. At the end of each insights, you will find the usual coaching prompts for your own reflection.
Way 1. Safety, for ourselves and others
At Acumen, I joined a cohort of 17 changemakers, eight of whom identified as men. I wouldn’t normally choose to spend extended time with a group of unfamiliar men who, I assumed (yes, relying on my probably overconfident gaydar), were heterosexual. Most of the abuse and discrimination I’ve experienced in life has come from men, so being in that space initially felt deeply unsafe.
Those of us who have lived through difference learn to stay alert, always scanning for potential danger. During the first Acumen immersive, a four-day retreat at the beautiful Penny Brohn UK Centre near Bristol, I was on high alert 24/7. It was exhausting.
What I didn’t realise at the time was that this discomfort was one of the lessons I was meant to learn. By the final immersive in York nine months later, during our gala dinner, we were invited to share something we wanted to celebrate. I stood up and celebrated the men in the group, a first for me. I celebrated the role models they are to their children and communities. I celebrated experiencing the care and warmth of straight men who respected me.
It is hard to be yourself when you don’t feel safe. For me, being yourself begins with feeling safe. There is so much more I want to share about feeling safe and I will explore this more in a separate blog.
Coaching prompts:
- What do you need to feel safe?
- How can you create a safer environment for others?
Way 2. Privileges, the ones we hold and those we don’t
One way I’ve come to know myself better is by reflecting on the privileges I have, and the ones I don’t. This awareness makes me both a better person and a better leader. The Acumen fellowship offered a fertile space for this kind of reflection. During our final immersive, we explored readings from Nelson Mandela, Socrates, Martin Luther King Jr., and others. It was powerful to sit with both perspectives, those who had privilege and those who challenged it.
When I considered the privileges I don’t have, I didn’t feel like a victim; I felt empowered. That awareness helped me recognise the systems that weren’t built for me and that still need changing. I have work to do there.
At the same time, becoming more aware of the privileges I do have has deepened my sense of moral responsibility, not to feel guilty, but to show up for others with greater intentionality. Having privilege doesn’t mean we endorse the structures that perpetuate it. But ignoring it means becoming complicit. Again, I have work to do.
Indifference — to the privileges I have or the ones I lack — is not an option.
Coaching prompts:
- What privileges do you have that you might not be aware of?
- How can this awareness inform your leadership?
Way 3. Discomfort and healing
Embracing our true selves as leaders means embracing our pain and discomfort, getting to know it, learning from it, and finding ways to heal that work for us as individuals. For me, being myself begins with awareness: understanding what causes my pain and who can help me heal.
If you work in social change, this will probably resonate. Our work often brings us close to the pain of those we serve, and sometimes, it reconnects us to our own.
In my case, working with LGBTQI people who have fled persecution regularly exposes me to echoes of my own trauma and the discrimination I’ve faced because of my sexuality.
The Acumen Fellowship gave me a space to share that experience with others who also live with pain and purpose intertwined. I witnessed how they cope, how they build resilience, and how healing can be collective. Instead of collective trauma, I experienced collective healing.
It made me realise how easily we grow accustomed to pain, so much so that we forget to seek healing or create it for others. Now, I’m more intentional about fostering spaces for healing, not just within my team at Micro Rainbow, but within my wider communities too.
Coaching prompts:
- When do you experience discomfort?
- What are your opportunities for collective healing?
Way 4. Pause, reconnect to your core values
Being yourself should be easy. Yet what I’ve realised is that sometimes we need to pause to reconnect with our true selves and clear away the distractions that pull us from our core values.
The Acumen Fellowship gave me that rare opportunity to pause. And with pausing came reflection, learning, and growth. For me, it was an expansive experience. One of the tools we explored was the concept of the “balcony view” versus being “on the dance floor.”
Being on the dance floor means being deeply involved in the day-to-day which is essential for connection and practical impact, but it can limit perspective. The balcony view allows us to step back, see the bigger picture, and look beyond symptoms to underlying patterns.
We applied this analogy to our leadership and our organisations. My natural tendency is to stay too long on the dance floor. The fellowship gave me the pause I needed to take a balcony view, not just of my leadership, but of my whole self. Without pausing, I stay on that dance floor too long, risking burnout.
Many of us, as changemakers and social entrepreneurs, would never think of taking four days out of our schedules — three times in nine months — to retreat to the countryside and work on ourselves. It can feel decadent. Even indulgent. But these limiting beliefs work against our wellbeing.
The support we gave and received throughout the fellowship will, I believe, transform many lives. By pausing we have built a community and renewed our sense of hope. I feel stronger knowing the other sixteen fellows are walking beside me.
Coaching prompts:
- What opportunities do you have to pause and take a “balcony view” of yourself?
- How can you step away from the “dance floor” more regularly?
Way 5. Show Up, for yourself and others
Changemakers are often excellent at showing up for others. Most of us are “type A” high-achieving helpers. But what we’re less practiced at is showing up for ourselves. I’ve come to believe that being yourself also means learning to show up for yourself , not just for everyone else.
During our second Acumen immersive in Kent, we spent significant time exploring adaptive leadership and engaging in peer coaching sessions. Those sessions were transformational. Through the eyes of my peers, I saw the compassion I hadn’t yet offered myself. They reflected back the strength I thought I was losing and rekindled the hope I was beginning to trade for cynicism.
They gave me permission to be vulnerable. They shared my pain. And they helped me remember how to show up for myself. That, I realised, is real power.
Coaching prompts:
- What does “showing up for yourself” mean to you?
- Who can help you do it?
Closing Reflections
These five lessons (safety, privilege, discomfort, pause, and showing up) are at the heart of what being yourself truly means to me. They’re also what the Acumen Fellowship gave me: space to reflect, community to grow with, and courage to lead more authentically.
The journey reminded me that leadership is not about perfection or certainty. It’s about awareness of who we are, what we bring, and how we relate to others. It’s about creating safety, seeking healing, pausing when needed, and showing up for ourselves and for those we serve.
If you’re a changemaker or social entrepreneur searching for a community that challenges and nourishes you in equal measure, the Acumen Fellowship might just be your next step. And if not, take this as a gentle nudge to pause, look within, and keep walking your path, as yourself.
As always, I hope this post offers a moment to pause and reflect. I’d love to hear from you: share in the comments, on LinkedIn, or drop me a message. Let’s stay connected.
With solidarity and hope,
Sebastian
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, check out the Build a Social Enterprise Blog for more practical insights and stories and join my free newsletter on LinkedIn.
@sebastianrocca @buildasocialenterprise
